Well, i don't even want to write this post, but, i know i should.  A lot of people have emailed me today or text me and asked how my Dr. apt went and i haven't responded. So, once again my blog is the easiest place to say it....I will be having a DandC, maybe tmro, maybe next week (we will know in the morning). Today was my fourth ultrasound, again no baby in sac and no fetal pole was found.  The previous ultrasound showed growth of the sac and my levels were good. Not this time, it hadn't grown and was beginning to mis-shape. Therefore, i lost my pregnancy and surgery is needed.
I have been calm through this whole experience but today has been hard.  Sometimes, talking about to everyone is just too hard.  That being said...please pray for me and Nick. We are so thankful to everyone who is praying and so happy to have friends that are so concerned and love us so much. I know that this loss is in God's plan and i will not complain, i am heartbroken and hurting, but i will not complain. I am truly blessed in my life and am thankful to God for the blessings he has given me!

Korbins 1st Birthday party!

Korbin had a barnyard bash for his 1st Birthday!

(some of the pics are out of order and i can't move them for some reason)

 picture banner

 game corner

 boys against girls/cows again pigs

 party favor table

food counter

 ENTRANCE

 TABLES

 CAKE TABLE

 CAKE!

 MY MOTHER-N-LAW (KORBINS NANA) MADE THE CAKE

 THE HELPERS..HAHA! NANA AND AUNT ALLY

 CHICKEN FEED...AKA POPCRORN. ALL THE FOOD WAS BARN THEMED

 THE BIRTHDAY BOY :)

 STEALING COOKIES FROM THE MASON JAR

 SMASH CAKE

 HAY BALES...AKA PIZZA ROLLS

 PIGS IN A BLANKET

 KORBIN'S GARDEN...AKA VEGGIE PIZZA

 KORBIN AND NONNA

 TIME TO EAT!

 HE WAS SO HAPPY ALL EVENING!

 HE LOVES HIS PAW!

 MY BEST FRIEND MEGAN 

(we have been bfs since 6th grade and she is his pediatrician, how lucky am i)

 KOLTON GOT A BIG BROTHER GIFT FROM MOMMY, DADDY, AND KORBIN! 

 A SWEET COW EVEN SHOWED UP TO PLAY GAMES WITH THE KIDS!

 I LOVE BEING HIS MOMMA

 HAPPY BIRTHDAY KORBIN! -MOMMY AND DADDY LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!

 SERIOUSLY LOVING HIS SMASH CAKE!!

 PRESENTS!

 KISSES FOR MOMMA....PRETTY SURE HE WAS THANKING ME FOR HIS AWESOME PARTY! HE KEPT KISSING ME AFTER! :)

 ON SUNDAY THE 21ST. (HIS ACTUAL BDAY) I MADE HIM HIS FAVORITE BREAKFAST)

I can't believe you are one Korbin. You are such a wonderful lil' boy. You sleep all night and take a long nap everyday or two short ones. You eat great!! Your Brother is your best friend and you follow him everywhere. Your still a mommy's boy...thank you for that, i love it! You just now like to play with toys and especially a ball. You don't like to watch tv very much...although i did notice you stop the other day and watch blues clues for about 3 minutes while playing. We love you so very much and can't get enough of your BIG kisses! Happy 1st Birthday!

Pregnancy News.

Today was my third ultrasound. We were hoping to see a baby at this point, but again no baby. The sac is still good and even GROWING. Everything is showing that my pregnancy is good and progressing BUT, we can't find a lil' peanut in there. My Dr. is somewhat confused but hopeful. It helps that my Dr's are so supportive and uplifting! I'm pretty sure most Dr.'s would of just said sorry by this point. But, since everything is good and i still have pregnancy symptoms (and no miscarriage symptoms) they are holding on to hope that the baby could be "hiding" (so am i). Therefore, another week of waiting and praying is in our future. Next Tuesday we will once again go back to the Dr. and go into that little room and watch another black and white screen and pray!

I am still worried and confused....But oddly ok right now.

Its been a great week otherwise....

These cuties keep me busy and show me how blessed i am to already have two healthy kids! 

Thank You God!

Korbin is One!

Here is Korbin's 12 month photo.

Sleepy eyes and all!

For his Special Birthday Breakfast i made his favorite--confetti pancakes with a big cool whip #1

He gobbled it right up and we were off to Church 

and then to spend the day as a family celebrating Korbin!

He had a great day...We had a great day! 

We love you Korbin!!!!

Happy FIRST birthday Korbin!

KORBIN YOU ARE ONE TODAY!!!!!

THE MORNING YOU WERE BORN CHANGED OUR LIVES FOREVER. WE NOW HAD TWO PRECIOUS LITTLE BOYS AND INSTANTLY FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU AND YOUR SWEET DEMEANOR.

AN AMAZING GIFT FROM GOD

 YOU HAVE BEEN A MOMMA'S BOY FROM THE START!

 YOU ARE NO LONGER THAT SWEET LIL' SLEEPY NEWBORN BUT A SWEET ENERGETIC ONE YEAR OLD. I LOVE HAVING A HOUSE WITH TWO BOYS ROAMING THE FLOOR PLAYING ALL DAY AND THAT YOU CRAWL UP TO MY FEET AND REACH YOUR LIL' ARMS UP HIGH AND SAY MOMMA. ITS MY FAVORITE THING RIGHT NOW!!

HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY KORBIN! WE LOVE YOU LOTS!!!